Another day in distortion
by killeralchemist747
Summary: Giratina is tired of his tedious work in the distortion world.  One day, he finally snaps.  Oneshot crack-fic.


Title: Another Day in Heck

Games – Pokémon

Rating: T

Genre: Humor

Characters: Giratina

Summary: This just gives a different view on the life after death for the Pokémon world. This is what Giratina does when he gets bored of pushing the button to send people to Arceus. Humorous, short, and probably won't be more than an oneshot.

Another Day in Heck

**A/N Now this may or may not be an oneshot. Depends on how I feel about it. **

**Not many fics about ol' Giry, so I'm pretty sure I'm not copying off of someone.**

"Please my lord Giratina! I've been trapped here for fifty years!"

"WHAT! You don't like it here! I'm offended, do you know how much time I've put into making peoples stay here enjoyable? Well let me tell you; in five days, it will have been exactly 2,453,870 years since Arceus created this place, and 2,453,845 years since she created me. Yet noooooo, according to you, a mere human, I, the immortal god of death, am a failure at being a host!" Giratina felt pleasure at seeing the human squirm before him. Unfortunately, his aura was blue, so Giratina didn't have a choice but to send him up to Arceus. That didn't mean he couldn't have his fun with him first.

"Please, my lord. I have been separated from my dear wife for so long, please have mercy and let me reunite with her!" The man was sobbing in a heap at Giratina's feet.

"Oh, I see how it is," Giratina cried melodramatically. "You'd rather your wife than the presence of an all powerful legendary. I thought you cared about me! That's it! You're not getting anything from me!" And with a harrumph, Giratina turned around and plopped down, facing away from the petitioner.

"Please I beg of-" " I'm not listening!" Giratina sang out. (**A/N Wow, that a looooooot of lalalalalalalalas.) **

"But-"

"~I'VE GOT A LOVELY BUNCH OF COCONUTS~

~HERE THEY ARE, STANDING IN A ROW~

~SOME ARE BIG AND SOME ARE SMALL~

~AND-OH CRAP! I CAN'T REMEMBER THE REST OF THE SONG!"

The petitioner made spluttering noises.

Giratina whirled back to him, getting up really close to his face.

"Sooooo," He said in a seductive tone, "I heard u leik mudkipz, eh?"

"Umm," the man trailed off, uncertainly.

Giratina continued in the same tone. "You see that chick behind you? I'll pay you ten bucks if you ask her to marry you."

"I-I-I'm a-already m-married."

"There's no law against polygamy here."

The man fumbled for something to say, but Giratina didn't give him a chance. He threw his head back and sung drunkenly:

_Found a peanut, _

_Found a peanut,_

_Found a peanut last night_

_Last night I found a peanut,_

_Found a peanut last night._

_Cracked it open, cracked it open_

_Cracked it open last night._

_Last night I cracked it open,_

_Cracked it open last night._

_It was rotten, it was rotten,_

_It was rotten last night._

_Last night, it was rotten,_

_It was rotten last night._

_Ate it anyway, ate it anyway_

_Ate it anyway last night._

_Last night I ate it anyway_

_Ate it anyway last night._

_Got a tummy ache, got a tummy ache,_

_Got a tummy ache last night._

_Last night I got a tummy ache,_

_Got a tummy ache last night._

_Saw a doctor, saw a doctor_

_Saw a doctor, last night._

_Last night I saw a doctor_

_Saw a doctor last night._

_Got some medicine, got some medicine,_

_Got some medicine last night._

_Last night I got some medicine _

_Got some medicine last night._

_Died anyway, died anyway,_

_Died anyway last night._

_Last night I died anyway,_

_Died anyway last night._

_Went to heaven, went to heaven,_

_Went to heaven last night._

_Last night I went to heaven_

_Went to heaven last night._

_Didn't want me, didn't want me,_

_Didn't want me last night._

_Last night they didn't want me,_

_Didn't want me, last night._

_Went to heck, went to heck,_

_Went to heck last night._

_Last night I went to heck_

_Went to heck last night._

_Got a job, got a job,_

_Got a job last night,_

_Last night I got a job,_

_Got a job last night._

_Shoveling coal, shoveling coal,_

_Shoveling coal last night._

_Last night I got a job,_

_Shoveling coal last night._

**A/N I'm ending it here. I've now wasted a total of one hour writing this pointless crap. Will be writing a great many more crack-fics tonight, the best of which will be posted. I'm doing somewhat of an all night crack marathon. Smart, huh? I have school tomorrow to, so yup, I'm an idiot. **


End file.
